Learning to Lament

i meant to write this blog at Easter...but then i didn't, and then i put it in my newsletter - so i felt like i'd "gotten in out"...

over Easter i realized that i'm in this season where i feel like i have a lot to grieve - and i don't really know what that means, or how to do it. i don't feel like my culture does a great job of grieving. i don't feel like "the church" has taught me how to grieve either. i think generally we just bottle stuff up, stuff it down...act like everything is fine - and we don't properly grieve our losses...maybe i should stop using "we" language...i guess i can only honestly speak for myself.

so this past month i've been grieving - or at least aware of the need in my life. feeling the sadness of broken relationships, disappointment, injustice, transitions, distance between me and my friends (no matter where i am, there will be people that i love deeply who aren't physically close to me), ways "the church" has been less than i wish it was. i don't do it well. my tendency is to "move on" to "be fine." after all, its easier to be numb than to grieve. its easier to watch tv or to read a book than to feel. its easier to "leave all the junk in my suitcase" than "unpack" it (at least temporarily).

during Lent Mars Hill church did a series on grieving. i started listening to it on my way down to WV for my hiking weekend. i couldn't listen during lent...i was in too much of a whirlwind/jet lag/life in a blender season of life...but now its time. I'm thankful to be able to learn and journey in lament. i'm thankful for the resource, for a study of the book of Lamentations (not a common sermon topic...). one thought that sticks in my head is that we can't grieve with others if we have left our own grieving undone. so...with added inspiration to be healthy for myself, and for the people i love, and the friends i long to be with in Kolkata i will continue to "unpack my bags" and allow the Holy Spirit to restore me.