back "home"

this morning we arrived safely back in Kolkata by train (only 2 hrs late!). it was a great week away, with moments that were great - and some moments that were stretching too. in some ways i feel like i have so much to say that i can't filter it, and i should just say nothing...ignore it all...but what fun is that....i have no idea what i'll say, but here goes...



we stayed the night in the kolkata airport saturday night. our flight was at 5:40 am, but we needed to be there by 3:30 for check in, and you can't get cabs at that time. it was the first time Gita and Upendra had flown - and it was fun to be a part of that for them. neither was afraid, and i gave them gum for teh take off and landing! we were a bit worried that Gita wouldn't be albe to come. she didnt' have a the "right" photo ID, and there was no way to get it. so beth talked with some people and made this ghetto ID card that a doctor signed...and it turned out to be no big deal. the ticket agent didn't even look at it!



By the time we arrived at Tammy's we were all feeling pretty tired from our all nighter. we talked with Tammy for a bit, then had lunch...and then naptime. Being at Tammy's was like leaving India, in some ways. The weather was amazing (which was such a blessing) i didn't sweat while just sitting there. i actually used a sheet at night, i got goose bumps when the breeze would blow. it was a great treat. We had a great time hanging out with the kids, and with each other. While the kids were resting/reading, we sat in the court yard and told stories. it was good to be together as a team. and the kids are amazing. There is such hope in each of them. These kids who come from horrible back grounds, and most have lost both parents, lived on the streets for a bit ect...and there is no hint of that in them anymore. It was this beautiful picture of restoration, of redemption. The image of God in these kids has been restored. Their faith in God humbles me. They're praise, and prayers are powerful - and real and alive.



it was amazing and challenging to hear tammy tell story after story of how God has provided for her during her life, and for the kids and the home now. She doesn't do "fundraising" she rarely lets people know her needs. She and the kids pray, and petition, and seek the Lord, and over and over He has provided. from the exact amount they needed to build their house, to a bus they were praying for, to fire cracker to celebrate Christmas (the kids wanted them, Tammy wasn't going to buy them, and told them to pray), to money they need for school tuition. As i listened to the testimonies of God's faithfulness in Tammy's life, and in the lives of her kids - i wonder...what is the difference between them and me? Am i not seeing God' provision cause i don't have faith? cause i don't "need" God to provide? cause i don't really take him at his word? i don't know. i was challenged and encouraged by tammy and her kids.



At one point we were talking with tammy and she said that for every believer, for every child of God our calling in life is to be His child. to know Him intimately. To pray, to praise. To BE with God. that is our call. secondary (and a far second) is the context of the call. the context can change, with different seasons - maybe its a job at a bank, or time in Kolktata, or working at a grocery store, or Church - whatever...the context of how we serve - what we "do" just doesn't matter compared with the call of knowing Him. It was good to hear...to let that truth soak in.



We took a train from Bangalore to Chennai - a 6 hour ride. it was beautiful - and also stressful. it was crowded...and got more crowded as the trip went. there were 3 people to a bench...and there wasn't any extra room! as we got close to chennai, people were standing in the aisles. it was frustrating to me...being bumped...the temperature increasing...men staring...all in all, i didn't love that train ride. the scenery was nice though...mountains, and plains...beautiful. it was hard to leave the peace of tammy's for the insanity of the train...



WMF has 2 homes in chennai. One for kids who are "orphaned" or their parents are un able to care for them. 40ish kids live there. some are AIDS orphans, and some have AIDS. Some had AIDS, but in reality they were just testing positive because of their mother's antibodies. Patrick and Victoria are amazing servants of God. They love these kids as their own, and have poured their lives into the kids. It was good to see how God is at work in that home. It was really different form Tammy's home in some ways - but in the most important ways, it was the same. Both places view these kids as "theirs." they're not institutional at all. Its home for the kids. They'll provide college educations when the time comes, and desire that the "kids" come back to visit anytime, even after they're married, and with their own kids someday too.



The second home is run by John Paul and Ruby. Its a home for kids with physical and mental handicaps. There is so much stigma in India towards people with handicaps. a pregnant woman never wants to see a person with disabilities, for fear that her child will be disabled. They have a hard time finding a house to rent - people are afraid that the kids will make the house "unclean." John Paul and Ruby are quite "alone" in their service right now. ideally they need 5 helpers to run the house (they have 11 kids, only 2 can walk) - but they only have 1 right now. Because of the social stigma, they have a really hard time finding people who will serve these kids.



and the kids were beautiful. we spent about a half hour to an hour with them, playing small games, just touching them, loving on them...and their smiles were amazing. There was joy in their smiles...and the image of God. These beautiful kids (mostly in their young teens now) - and then to hear their stories..."this girl was thrown away. we found her in the trash" "this girl was living with dogs, her mother died and her father is crazy" ect ect. It was, in some ways hard to be there. This home with so much potential...such beautiful work...this incredible home - stretched so thin. These beautiful kids...this beautiful home, providing these kids with so much more than they would have otherwise - and at the same time - so much less than i want them to have.



South India is really different from Kolkata. There were chruches everywhere, and even the poverty looked different. i didn't see slums everywhere. there weren't people pulling rickshaws. There wasn't trash all over the streets (they have trash cans!). there were auto rickshaws and motorcycles that said "Jesus" or "praise the Lord" instead of the pics of the hindu gods. i know i was in the same country...but it was so different.



we went to this great restaurant called, "Sparky's" while in Chennai. its run by a ministry...and all the money funds christian works....and the food and atmosphere was amazing. it was like an old diner...with licence plates, and memorabilia from the states all over. there was air conditioning that was really cold...and drinks with re-fills! and ice! and classic american music. it was like walking through this doorway and being in America...and we all loved it. In one sense it was strange cause we walked into the restaurant, and suddenly we had role reversal in our group. the Americans were "at home" and the Bengalis were "the foreigners" we had to explain the menu to them, and they didn't know the songs ect. the food was great, the bathroom was clean, we had endless lemonade...and then the cheesecake. i ordered some (with blueberries) for dessert to share with everyone. at first gita and kiran didn't want to taste it...but then they did...and they loved it. we just kept passing it around (ti was a HUGE piece) and sharing. later on the train ride home Kiran said, "i will never forget cheesecake!" i'll admit...when the cheesecake came, i got pretty excited. i might have even clapped my hands like a school girl - its the small things in life, my friends...re-fills, ice, cheesecake!



we also went to St. Thomas mount (Thomas the disciple evangelized India, in the south and was martyred in Chennai. there's a chapel, where he was killed). and we went to the ocean...it was hot, but the breeze off the ocean was nice...and it was fun to play in just for a bit. the water was nice...and there were waved (we just waded) i will say i was a bit paranoid cause my aunt told me about some of her friends who went to a beach in India and they got these boils on their feet from some crabs or something that lived in the sand and burrowed into their feet and laid eggs...guess i'll just have to keep checking my feet! my paranoia couldn't trump the joy of the beach though!



our train ride home was 30 hours. we had a sleeper car - and i actually really loved the ride. we slept right away, and ended our trip sleeping too...so we really just had one day on the train. the good news is i only had to use the bathroom 3 times! and 2 of the 3 times it had just been cleaned (if you've ever been on a train in a developing country, then i know you understand my joy!) reading...talking...joking...playing games. it was great. (kind of like a youth group bus trip, without the break-downs) i loved the time together. I also spent some time alone...watching the Indian country-side, listening to music, being, watching the sunset over Indian hills, shepherds guiding the goats, farmers plowing with oxen, men with bamboo umbrellas to keep the sun off as they travel, lightning...it was such a good time of being. in some ways i thought, "i can't believe i'm here right now" and in other ways it just felt right.



the reality of time is sinking in. i essentially only have 1 week left here. one more "normal week" my last week here we'll work a day and a half like "normal" and then debriefing on tuesday and wedenesday morning, family dinner wednesday evening...Thursday to do what we want...and Friday AM we head out. i'm a bit overwhelmed by how quickly the time will go...and a bit un-easy about coming home. i know that sounds strange...but in some ways India has become what i know. i know how to live here. i know what my days hold. I know here, this was the next clear step that God led me to in following Him - and i don't know the next one... there are just questions when i go home. how does this experience and this time effect who i am for the rest of my life? what will i do? where will i work? what's next in my journey of following Jesus? What is the next context for my call of knowing Jesus...just lots of questions...and add in the "re-adjustment" to the way of life in the states...



so...i'd covet your prayers as i finish here. that i'll finish well. that i'll be fully engaged here. that God will give my heart strength as i begin the process of saying goodbye to friends...and that my heart will be soft and ready...and that i'll allow God to finish the work that He has begun in me, in my time in India as i come back home, and wait.