There have been too many transitions.
Too many changes. (Not all bad, but still changes)
Not enough normal.

And I know that in seasons like this it's hard to name what I'm feeling because it all runs together.

But my revelation for now, is that I miss Beth. I never got to grieve all the ways I miss her. Or the absence of all the he awesome-ness and known-ness, and fun we had together. I miss my sister Beth...I miss her in the kitchen. I miss her presence in the living room after a long day. I miss the crazy ideas we came up with together, and her willingness to plot great parties and gatherings, but I never got to feel or process transition, cause all I got to do was take a deep breath and dive (or be dragged) into the chaos that followed.

I know I've been "blog silent" for awhile. I haven't had much to say, or the emotional energy to process the half thoughts and musings that will eventually turn into something to say. I've been putting one foot in front of the other in the midst of another (or the continuation) of a hard season.