icons around my neck

Probably about a year and a half or two years ago I started wearing a necklace.  At first I had one charm (a san damiano cross I was given when I joined WMF), and then slowly I added another, and another.

The current count is 4. And each is significant. Really significant to me. (it feels really vulnerable to describe these, but w/o understanding their significance the rest of the story won’t make as much sense). i'd be happy to show them to you if we're ever in the same place. they're not pretty. they're blackened cause of how much a sweat in Kolkata...but they are beautiful.

• I have a medal of St. Francis and St. Claire that Sarah got for me in Assisi.
• I have a little elephant that was a surprise gift from Katie and Ollie when I visited them.
• I wear a leaf, that is a memorial for, well, for a lot of things…but I’ll sum it up by saying it’s a memorial for a life that I couldn’t save, and a reminder that I am not supposed to be God, and that God is good, and present, and working even when the floor falls out beneath you, and your hopes and hard work crumble before your eyes…even when it doesn’t seem like it.
• I wear a key. A symbol of Beth in our community. She was “the key holder” in Kolkata. Someone prayed that over her years ago. 

I love the chain of icons around my neck. They are a constant reminder of significant people/places/events/relationships.

The problem is…that sometimes chains break.

I was clearing security at the airport yesterday when my chain broke. I felt something slide down my back and into my underwear and was (obviously) very confused, until I realized my chain was broken. I immediately found Saints Francis and Claire (they were still on my shoulder), and a kind woman found my elephant on the floor for me. No sign of the leaf or the key.

I finished clearing security (not much else to do at that point) and went to the bathroom.

I found my leaf, but no sign of the key.

I did a little dance, I shook my shirt and pants.

I gave up. 

The key was gone.

I resigned myself to going to the jewelry store and having another one made.

And then, I felt something on my calf, and then an almost silent “plink” on the floor. There was my key. Safe and sound.

I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t lose any of them!

Sometimes it’s the little things that give great joy.

Finding what you thought was lost.

The return of something that you could certainly live without…but you’d rather not.

The little things.

I guess that’s the problem w/ wearing important things on a chain around your neck. You can lose them anytime. But I won’t stop. It’s a risk I’m willing to take to carry those moments/people/reminders with me wherever i go. I’ll just buy an even sturdier chain (this isn’t the first time my chain has broken). 

It’s weird not to have the chain. I never realized how many times during a day I reach for it. How many times a day I touch the charms and remember what they stand for. I can’t tell you how many times, in the past 36 hrs I’ve reached for my empty neck to feel for the charms.

But they’re not lost. Their safely tucked away in my wallet, waiting for when I can get to the jewelry store and buy myself a really sturdy-built chain…