Mourning and Worship

I don't usually do this, maybe i should...regardless - here is my December prayer letter. often when i write prayer letters i'm not quite sure what to say in them...but this time, i felt like i really had something to say. maybe that's why i wanted to share it here too...

One of the Pharisees asked Jesus to have dinner with him, so Jesus went to his home and sat down to eat. When a certain immoral woman from that city heard he was eating there, she brought a beautiful alabaster jar filled with expensive perfume. Then she knelt behind him at his feet, weeping. Her tears fell on his feet, and she wiped them off with her hair. Then she kept kissing his feet and putting perfume on them. – Luke 7:36-38

December 2010

At the end of October I was able to attend a wonderful retreat – which provided beautiful (and much needed) space for my heart to rest and receive, and be refilled by the Lord. The second day of the retreat, we were worshiping together through song. We were singing about God’s holiness and His sovereignty and while I believe and sing those words of truth – I can’t disconnect from the lament – from the suffering I know of this world. I can’t disconnect from the injustice I have seen, from the lack of awareness of hope that bears down on the souls of my friends. It’s like lament has been woven into my worship – and I wonder if I’ll ever be able to sing about God’s holiness and greatness and beauty and disconnect that from injustice and pain and sorrow and lament. And I’m not convinced I’m supposed to disconnect them.

Does mourning diminish the offering of worship? It’s not that I don’t fully believe the words that were being sung around me, I just don’t know how to separate that truth from the reality of a broken world that I walk in every day.

And then I thought of the passage about the “immoral woman” who anoints Jesus’ feet with her tears (as I stood there simultaneously weeping and worshiping). I wondered if she might feel like me. Why was she crying as she anointed Jesus feet? As she worshipped Him?

I’ve always thought of her tears as tears of repentance – and maybe they were – but I think its equally possible that they were tears of lament. She certainly had reason to lament. Reasons to weep. I bet they were countless. What abuse had she endured? What injustices did she carry on her soul? Wounds from men who used her, and wounds from “good people” who judged her. She lived in this dichotomy of being simultaneously used and hated. How many people of power and influence used her services in private, and scorned her publicly for the abuse they themselves had perpetrated? Politicians? Well-respected business men? Church leaders? Oh, she had reason to lament.

As she worshiped Jesus, is it possible that her heart was softened for the first time in ages? Is it possible that the floodgates of her breaking heart swung open – and she was able to feel the pain and abuse and neglect? Did she wonder why? Why was it that she had to endure what she had to endure? And as she wept while she worshipped – the offering wasn’t diminished in anyway, but rather her authenticity made the offering all the more beautiful?!

I don’t claim to be a theologian or Bible scholar, but I don’t think I need to be in this case. I think, what I need is to know the people I know. Beautiful women. Used, and abused – and being restored. I need to walk along side them, and lament, and worship, and be restored myself.

Come Thou long expected Jesus. Come.

Connecting with Kolkata this Christmas:

Each year Sari Bari gives the ladies a gift. This year it will be a Sari, socks, and a sweater, which will cost about $25.00 for each lady. This year we have nearly 70 ladies who work for Sari Bari (pretty amazing, huh?!).

So as you begin to make Christmas wish lists, and begin buying gifts for others, would you consider sponsoring a Christmas gift for one of the Sari Bari ladies? Your gift is tax-deductible, and can be made to Word Made Flesh either by going to www.wordmadeflesh.org there is a donate link on the bottom left of the homepage, or by sending a check to WMF (PO Box 70, Omaha, NE 68101) please designate your gift as "Kolkata: Christmas" but if you send a check, please don't write on the memo line, include a separate note!

Ways you can pray this month:

● For me (and the community) as we begin to think/plan/dream about what my long term role/responsibilities will be here

● My Bangla class is still overwhelming! Pray that I’ll have grace with myself to not learn everything – and discipline to study enough!

● For Sari Bari Christmas – this is a beautiful time of year for us to talk about the Hope we have in Jesus.

● For WMF North American Staff (and our families) as we enter into the holiday season far from home. I’m excited about celebrating Christmas here, but also know there will be moments of missing family and friends, and familiar celebration