Not like me...He does not change like shifting shadows.

I've mentioned before, and i know i'll mention again how i continue to struggle with the visible poverty i encounter on a daily basis. While it is uncomfortable, and hard to wrestle with these things, my prayer is that I will never settle, or become blind to the hurting people around me. Some days are more hard than others. I find myself continually evaluating my motives. I wonder how fear, selfishness, or pride influence my actions, in comparison to love, kindness and compassion. While I like to think I’m motivated by and act according to later, I’m not so sure that is always the case.

I’ve also be struggling recently trying to determine what influences why I respond the way I do in certain situations. Why do I give sometimes, and then not give the next time? Why do I give to one person and not the other? Why do I respond differently to the same people at different times? Sometimes I feel like I’m put in situations here where I am given power or authority over another human being that God never intended me to have. I don’t feel equipped to discern/respond/act. At times I’m sure my “generosity” comes across as a confusing puzzle to the people I interact with. How often do my actions leave them wondering about why I responded the way I did, or what “rules” I’m playing by. I am so thankful that God is not like me. While I do not (and cannot) fully understand His ways or decisions I rejoice that He is not like me. He does not change like shifting shadows. He is love. He can be trusted. He is never motivated by fear, selfishness or pride. Oh, what joy and peace there is in that knowledge.