limping

my small group is reading and discussing "Velvet Elvis" by Rob Bell. So far, its been good.

There's a paragraph that resonated with my heart - so clearly...i have to share it...

"The Rabbis have a metaphor for this wrestling with the text: The story of Jacob wrestling the angel in Genesis 32. He struggles, and it is exhausting and tiring and in the end his hip is injured. It hurts. And he walks away limping.

Because when you wrestle with the text, you walk away limping."

And when i read that - it just was good, and true, and gave me a window into my own heart.

Cause i am limping.

it's been going on for while...i'd say as long as i've been home...but just like my knee surgery in college, i sometimes have a hard time admitting that i'm limping...even when its obvious.

So, i'm going to continue limping along...seeking the Lord, trying to figure out what could possibly be next...asking hard questions that i can't answers...trying to understand what is true...and how to follow Jesus...and how to be faithful to Him...and not knowing what the future holds.

and this limping...its good. its the result of God at work in my life. its true. i wouldn't trade it in even if i could...but its still hard.