Goodbyes are hard. And I feel like I've said too many of them, especially recently.
At this point, after saying goodbye to 4 of our North American staff I am, quite frankly tired of saying goodbye. So I carry a heavy heart, and a sense of dread into this first goodbye of one our Indian staff members. This goodbye feels like one too many.
Each goodbye stirs up all of the goodbyes that have gone before. And each goodbye also is a foreshadowing of the eventual goodbye I will say.
I sit in the middle of each goodbye. I wonder how the person is able to leave. How do you walk out of sari Bari for the last time. I have no idea how I will do it. I don't think any of them knew either, until they were actually doing it. I know how hard it is to be the one left. I have no idea how hard it is to be the one to leave.
Today I am the one comforting, and I know that someday I will be the one saying she is leaving. I will be the one causing the pain.
But that day is not today. So I watch the hearts of Sari Bari break at another goodbye. I hold my sobbing sister who cannot believe that someone else is leaving her, and I know enough of her story to know that this stirs up the memory of hard and horrible days for her.
I hear them say that they don't like this news. I hear them ask if they did something wrong.
I hear another woman say, "It takes years to build a relationship through love, but you can destroy what you've made in one moment." And I know the fragility of relationship, how easy it is to betray trust, how easy it is to break relationship, even if it is unintentional.
And I know that someday it will be me.
So I sit in this tension.
I am humbled, and overwhelmingly blessed by the relationships that I have been invited into, by the community that I have been woven into. And I know it comes at a very high cost. I know that I am not ultimately the one who "pays" for this privilege, at least I am not the only one who pays. And I wonder, how does one even begin to adequately honor such a reality?!
So I do all I can think to do. I hold this precious treasure of relationship gently, and firmly. Because it is a sacred.
After watching the beginnings of another goodbye there is an inescapable awareness of these things. And I am encouraged and cautioned (terrified) by athe depth and beauty of this sacred trust.
At this point, after saying goodbye to 4 of our North American staff I am, quite frankly tired of saying goodbye. So I carry a heavy heart, and a sense of dread into this first goodbye of one our Indian staff members. This goodbye feels like one too many.
Each goodbye stirs up all of the goodbyes that have gone before. And each goodbye also is a foreshadowing of the eventual goodbye I will say.
I sit in the middle of each goodbye. I wonder how the person is able to leave. How do you walk out of sari Bari for the last time. I have no idea how I will do it. I don't think any of them knew either, until they were actually doing it. I know how hard it is to be the one left. I have no idea how hard it is to be the one to leave.
Today I am the one comforting, and I know that someday I will be the one saying she is leaving. I will be the one causing the pain.
But that day is not today. So I watch the hearts of Sari Bari break at another goodbye. I hold my sobbing sister who cannot believe that someone else is leaving her, and I know enough of her story to know that this stirs up the memory of hard and horrible days for her.
I hear them say that they don't like this news. I hear them ask if they did something wrong.
I hear another woman say, "It takes years to build a relationship through love, but you can destroy what you've made in one moment." And I know the fragility of relationship, how easy it is to betray trust, how easy it is to break relationship, even if it is unintentional.
And I know that someday it will be me.
So I sit in this tension.
I am humbled, and overwhelmingly blessed by the relationships that I have been invited into, by the community that I have been woven into. And I know it comes at a very high cost. I know that I am not ultimately the one who "pays" for this privilege, at least I am not the only one who pays. And I wonder, how does one even begin to adequately honor such a reality?!
So I do all I can think to do. I hold this precious treasure of relationship gently, and firmly. Because it is a sacred.
After watching the beginnings of another goodbye there is an inescapable awareness of these things. And I am encouraged and cautioned (terrified) by athe depth and beauty of this sacred trust.
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