On Friday i met a new trainee out at the prevention unit. She is highly educated. She has a college degree. that is a really, really big deal for a girl out in the village. She's in her early 20's, finished college, and her parents haven't arranged her marriage yet. my mind is still reeling as i write it. This is virtually un-heard of.
I asked her about siblings, and she said she has an older sister, who also has a bachelors degree, and is now married. She is the middle sibbling, and she has a younger brother who is currently still studying.
At this point my mind is pretty much blown, and i'm trying to figure it out...why is this family so committed to education (far beyond the normal commitment to education for girls in a village)?
So i asked her if her parents were educated (assuming that her parents were educated and that's why they valued her education so much). they're not. her dad drives a "van" of some sort - but what that probably means is that he rides a bike that has a "flat bed" behind it - and he hauls people, and goods. (it could also have a motor).
And her mom, well, right now i can't remember what she said her mom does - but her mom is not educated either, and has a job...but the sort of job you get without an education. With the combined income of the parents i cannot believe they were able to educate their children. I can't believe they decided to educate their daughters to a college level. (often in situations like this, a son will be educated to a higher level, and the daughters will be educated until they are in their mid-teens, and then they'll be married off, or they'll run away and marry someone).
So i asked her, "how was it that your parents educated you?" (trying to figure out this positive deviance from the norm). And she told me that her mother loved to study. she loved school. But then, when her father (the trainee's grandfather) died the mom had to drop out of school, and get married. And that was the end of her education.
So i peer in from the outside, and i see the beauty of a mom and a dad sacrificing, and scrimping and saving to give her children, to give their daughters what they could not have (but so desperately wanted). "Through so much difficulty and sacrifice your parents have educated you" that's what i said, that's what i affirmed - the incredible gift she had been given.
and she agreed.
I hear stories like this. I see stories like this...and i want to know why.
why?
why?!
why is it that people respond to different circumstances in different ways?
why do some people fiercely cling to the opportunities they are given and pour themselves into them to improve themselves, and others don't?
why do some people believe their lives can be different, and others don't?
why do some women (the very rare case) move out of the red light area immediately after they get a job with us, and other struggles for years to fully cut off their connections to the trade?
what is it about a person that makes them shake off the cultural pressures, or ignore the mountain of circumstances that are stacked against them and take the next step toward the life they want? where does that tenacity come from? what is at the root of that sort of courage and determination?
oh - how i would love to know the secret. i want to know the what. i want to know the why...cause i want to shout it from the mountains...and whisper it in brothel rooms...and declare it boldly to each one who, for whatever reason, is trapped in circumstances that should not be.
I asked her about siblings, and she said she has an older sister, who also has a bachelors degree, and is now married. She is the middle sibbling, and she has a younger brother who is currently still studying.
At this point my mind is pretty much blown, and i'm trying to figure it out...why is this family so committed to education (far beyond the normal commitment to education for girls in a village)?
So i asked her if her parents were educated (assuming that her parents were educated and that's why they valued her education so much). they're not. her dad drives a "van" of some sort - but what that probably means is that he rides a bike that has a "flat bed" behind it - and he hauls people, and goods. (it could also have a motor).
And her mom, well, right now i can't remember what she said her mom does - but her mom is not educated either, and has a job...but the sort of job you get without an education. With the combined income of the parents i cannot believe they were able to educate their children. I can't believe they decided to educate their daughters to a college level. (often in situations like this, a son will be educated to a higher level, and the daughters will be educated until they are in their mid-teens, and then they'll be married off, or they'll run away and marry someone).
So i asked her, "how was it that your parents educated you?" (trying to figure out this positive deviance from the norm). And she told me that her mother loved to study. she loved school. But then, when her father (the trainee's grandfather) died the mom had to drop out of school, and get married. And that was the end of her education.
So i peer in from the outside, and i see the beauty of a mom and a dad sacrificing, and scrimping and saving to give her children, to give their daughters what they could not have (but so desperately wanted). "Through so much difficulty and sacrifice your parents have educated you" that's what i said, that's what i affirmed - the incredible gift she had been given.
and she agreed.
I hear stories like this. I see stories like this...and i want to know why.
why?
why?!
why is it that people respond to different circumstances in different ways?
why do some people fiercely cling to the opportunities they are given and pour themselves into them to improve themselves, and others don't?
why do some people believe their lives can be different, and others don't?
why do some women (the very rare case) move out of the red light area immediately after they get a job with us, and other struggles for years to fully cut off their connections to the trade?
what is it about a person that makes them shake off the cultural pressures, or ignore the mountain of circumstances that are stacked against them and take the next step toward the life they want? where does that tenacity come from? what is at the root of that sort of courage and determination?
oh - how i would love to know the secret. i want to know the what. i want to know the why...cause i want to shout it from the mountains...and whisper it in brothel rooms...and declare it boldly to each one who, for whatever reason, is trapped in circumstances that should not be.
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