January Letter

January 2013

The past few months have been full (as usual) of joy and suffering. Hope and cynicism. I find myself in a tug of war between the two poles. I find my spirit bolstered by celebration, and signs of life and growth (hugs, and words of wisdom spoken by the community at Sari Bari). And I find my soul battered by loss, and grieving, and questions.

·         Another day someone I love comes to the office with a black eye – an external sign of broken relationship that stops me in my tracks. So I hug her, and affirm that she is valuable. What else is there to do?!

·         A sudden death. Just like that, a husband and father gone. And suddenly I’m sitting on the bed in a room, holding my friend’s hand, questioning right alongside her. Grieving with her. Wondering with her how this is going to turn out to be good. How will this situation be redeemed?! And at the same time encouraged. In a strange way, Sari Bari is at its best it times of loss. She knows she is not alone. She is surrounded by friends who love her deeply. Who grieve with her. The presence of relationship that will be with her long after the funeral is over, and others have moved on.

·         An addiction that is stronger (at least for now) than the desire for and ability to live in a new way. And I am sad that there is nothing more I can do. I am frustrated. I am angry that this is the turn this story has taken. This time, at least for now, hope did not win. And my heart struggles to continue to hope. How do I fight cynicism when hope disintegrates before my eyes?

·         An accident. A freak accident. Horrible burns. 10 days in the hospital. Incredible financial burden. And pain. She tells me about the night she was burned – and my heart breaks. I hate the systems, and “norms” that govern the way she was treated that night. And now, the long slow process of healing (in more ways than one). She questions her value. She questions her ability to mother her sons. But she is not alone. Her family cares for her, and we will continue to walk alongside her.

In the midst of this I wait. For Emmanuel. I know He is with us. He sees us. He is coming. He is here. In the midst of questions that I cannot answer, and suffering that I cannot explain, I know the One who is Faithful, and I know He is here. So against all logic, choose Hope one more day. I choose to believe that which I cannot see. I trust that redemption and restoration are happening in the corners of brokenness that I can name, and in the ones I can’t name.  I wait, expectantly. He is with us.

More Changes!

We sometimes joke that the only constant in our lives in Kolkata is change…and there is a little truth in every joke J. Once again we are in the midst of incredible transition. These changes are exciting, and life giving. They are signs of growth. It can also be tiring to move through change after change.

We bought a building! This is a big deal. A huge deal. Right in the middle of the red light area, right across the street from the building we currently rent (and will continue to rent). We received a grant at the end of 2011 to buy and renovate a building. At many points throughout the past year it seemed like an impossible dream. But it’s not. It happened. We are currently renovating the building (it needs a lot of work to be useable for us). This property will allow us to expand our training for women, more adequately address the social welfare aspects of what we do, and will allow us to employ about 35-40 more women! Please pray for the renovation process and for our staff as we prepare new leaders, and begin looking for new women to join training

We’ve been moving! In November Sarah moved into a new flat, and a few weeks later Brooke moved into a new flat. I’ve been looking for a new home for almost a year. And I am on the verge of signing a lease for a new flat (hopefully I’ll have possession of the flat by the end of the week). I’m a little overwhelmed by the commitment, and what it will mean to actually move. At the same time I am excited about a new day for our community, and the ways that new living spaces will create new patterns of interacting for us. Please pray for me as I move, and establish home in a new way in Kolkata.

Leave of Absences are over! Upendra was on leave of absence throughout the Fall, and returned to work part time Dec 1. He is back full time as of Jan 1. Beth returns from her leave of absence on Jan 15.  We are so excited for the rest and mental/emotional space they received, and we are excited for the new perspective, voice and dreams they’ll bring back to our community.

Changes in my responsibilities: The past 6 months I have been the “Acting Field Director” here in Kolkata. It has been incredible for me to learn, and understand more of the realities of our community. I feel like my roots have gone down even deeper in this community (I didn’t know that was possible!). I feel even more invested here. It has been beautiful, and heavy. As Beth returns we’ll, as a community, begin navigating our priorities, and how our time is spent. Beth’s return will free up some time in my schedule to invest in things I’m passionate about (like training, and brothel visitation), but that I haven’t been able to give attention to recently.

A Retreat: January 23-27 the North American WMF Staff will be meeting with Scott and Beth Schaum for a retreat. Scott and Beth are a gift to our community. They serve with Barnabas International, and the Lord has woven our hearts into theirs, and theirs into ours. Please be in prayer that this time will bear fruit in our community in the short and long term (we’ll be enjoying some time together – it’s been 6 months since all of us “Kolkata Girls” have been in the same place, and also discussing self-care and ways to live more sustainably in Kolkata).

Peace be with you.

Melissa