Today...

i've thought about doing this for awhile...and apparently today is the day where i just tell you about all the different places these feet, and this mind, and this heart went today...

i woke up before my alarm. usually when this happens i just roll over and go back to sleep...but i've had some good/hard conversations recently, so this morning when i woke up my mind immediately went into "churning" mode.

so i woke up.

and had a slow morning.

i drank coffee...and talked with my parents (i do that every monday morning).

and i asked the Lord to be present with me in this day. You see, today i checked my friend out of rehab. maybe some of you have had a similar experience...but this was a first for me...and i felt really overwhelmed, and worried. we will be able to support her enough? what is the balance between our (and my) responsibility and hers? will she want to stay sober? what path lies ahead of her? of us? my heart was heavy. it felt like too much. i felt unprepared to meet her. ill-equipped to welcome her.

i got to the office and the sari bari ladies immediately started commenting that i got my hair cut "Moushumi, did you cut your hair?!" cue disappointed/disgusted face. i also think it's funny that they asked, cause it's pretty obvious. (i cut off at least 4 inches). one lady looked so disappointed that i cut my hair that you'd have thought i grew a 3rd eye over the weekend. so i started to tell that that i didn't cut it. and then i told them that a mouse ate it. and then one of the ladies said, "hey, the front is longer than the back. it's a mistake. i'll fix it for you." i assured her it was just my style :) also, i was unsurprised by the response. i knew they'd hate it. they like it when my hair is long...

i prepared an invoice for a shipment that had to leave by noon, which was a bit tricky, cause i hadn't done it in awhile so i had to figure some things out. and i had to print labels, and i saved things wrong, and the printer was acting up...and i got so frustrated.

and i was tired...cause remember how i woke up early (and had had a hard time falling asleep...well, i hadn't mentioned that part yet, but it was also true) and i thought, "how can i get a "re-start" on this day?!

shibu asked me how my "meeting" was this morning. months ago i told Shibu that i talk with my parents every monday morning. and he remembers...and every once in awhile he asks how my meeting was, and if my parents are doing well. i. feel. so. loved. i can't believe he remembers...

around 12:30 i left the office and i ran some stuff back to my house (things i wanted home overnight, and for tomorrow cause it's a holiday, but that i didn't want to carry around all over the city.

and then i met Bharoti at the metro. She is my hero. She fights fiercely for the women she loves. She moves mountains for people she loves...and today, we went to do together to check our friend out of rehab. let's be clear....i could not have managed today without her. even though the day was much easier than i thought it would be...i needed bharoti with me...and she was there! and more than that, it was an honor to be with her.

it only took us an hour to get to the rehab center (i was planning on 1 1/2-2). we go to ride the AC train (it was empty).  i put in my headphones, closed my eyes, and listened to a favorite album of mine, "Come Down of Love Divine" by Fernando Ortega...for the days and times when i can't fall asleep at night cause my mind is rushing...and when my heart needs to sing and pray...a moment of much needed centering in the middle of a crazy day.

and then we got a taxi...and the driver was really nice. and honest. and kind. and i shared my granola bar with Bharoti.

and i talked with the lady at rehab...and i sat there worried. feeling like it was too much. wondering how this story was going to pan out, hearing how her stay had been, her strengths and struggles...talking about what our care plan would be, and how to support her in a good way. and it felt like too much. way too much...and then i saw my friend. and the whole day changed. She is doing well. she is healthy. she looks great...and she is ready to take this next step (even though it's scary). and suddenly instead of feeling overwhelmed, i feel privileged to be a part of this day. honored to be the one to hug her and walk with her into a new day...and a new beginning.

and then we drive across town...and the roads are not jammed at all, it's just smooth sailing. and we reach the home where she is going to stay earlier than we planned. so we got some tea, and a snack on the side of the road.

...and the home is incredible (really, that situation is a story unto it's own...but let's just say that the Lord provided a "way beyond my expectations" transitional living situation for my friend). and we chat, and we talk a bit about the future, and when she'll come back to work, and how we're going to sort out those details.

and then it's 4:30, and i'm headed back into town.

and i stop by a hostel that i needed information on...(let it be known that addresses are pretty useless...there's no rhyme or reason, they go up, they go back down...what's that, i just passed 80 prince anawar shah road? and now i'm at 28? oh, no, it 133...crazy. annoying.)

and then it's 5:30, and i head back to Sari Bari (cause i forgot to do something that i needed to do)

and i chat with Sarah. and i get the things done that i needed to get done.

and then there's more talk about why i cut my hair. and why would i do that. and i tell them that a mouse ate it again. and the some says, "i want to see a mouse big enough to do that to your hair" and we laugh and joke

it's 7. time to go home.

and while i've spent hours traveling...and my heart has been all over i am thankful.

so i walk home, and decide to go to the market and pick up some veggies...and bannanas (maybe i'll make bananna bread tomorrow...maybe i won't)

and then i get sugar, and flour. (just in case)

and i came home.
and i started walking up the stairs and remembered that i forgot ant chalk...and to buy more credit for my phone. so i turn around.

and i go to the little shop on the sidewalk. literally it has bamboo sticks as posts, and a plastic roof. but it's the best place to recharge my phone cause i don't have to write my phone number down...so no creepy men steal my phone number and call me and harass me. and when i get there, he has fireworks...i wanted to buy fireworks, but i didn't want to engage buying something i didn't know the price of...but at my little phone shop...well, why not?! so i bought some fireworks, and got my phone rechaged

and then i got ant chalk. and bread.
and then i came home.

i was not looking forward to today. it seemed like too much. it seemed to big for me. beyond me.

...and while long and tiring it was good and beautiful.
i feel loved.
and known.
and thankful.
like the Lord was with me in this day...being "enough" being "more than enough" where i wasn't anywhere near enough.

so at the end of another long day...i sit here in my flat and think, "He is Faithful. He is who He says He is. He is Faithful"

and that's what i did today...
and now it's 8:30...and i'm long past ready for dinner.
time to take care of that little issue..

peace be with you.