Fraud

Sometimes I think I’m a fraud. 

I’m quick to hope for others. I cling tenaciously to hope and to the Lord’s promise of redemption and restoration for the people I love. I boldly declare that the Lord cares and that He will act in their lives.

…but when it comes to my own hopes…my own desires…my own longings…my own unhealthy or untrue thought patterns and coping mechanisms…the lies I believe…well, I’m much slower to believe that the Lord will show up and be His faithful self in my life. I’m significantly less likely to believe that the Lord will act on my behalf.

Oh, sure, I’ll believe it, and fight for it in everyone else’s lives…but to believe it for myself, well…I’m not so good at that.

Does he work all things for good in my life too?

I think so. 

I think that’s what He’s doing now…although, I’m not gonna lie…it’s kinda painful.