June Letter

June 2011

I sit in my room at the end of another incredibly hot day...and I think, "I'm not sure I'm cut out for the hot season." Throughout this very hot and humid week, I've muttered multiple times, "Jesus, have mercy." And I mean it. Although the weather gives me a very legitimate reason to cry out for mercy, it is also a much deeper cry.

"But you are the same God whose nature is to always have mercy"

It’s a part of the liturgy at church. The problem is that most of the time in my daily life what I see doesn't look like mercy to me.

Wednesday morning I watched a film that I hate (I was watching it with our visitors and then leading a discussion about the sex trade). It's about a little girl being trafficked. And I sat there weeping...thinking to myself, "I can't watch this film anymore. My heart can't take it." While the film is a work of fiction – it's not. Not anymore. The movie is more horrible every time I watch it. On second thought, maybe I really should watch the film more often – because it creates space for my heart to feel. It gives me an excuse to let out the tears and anger and grief that usually stay bottled up inside.

"But you are the same God whose nature is to always have mercy."

It doesn't look like mercy to me.

At the same time, I find my heart crying out for mercy. Mercy is one of the only things I can pray for. Mercy for my heart. For my sometimes judgmental, angry, breaking heart. Mercy for my friends who live in dark situations. Mercy for those who live on the street. Mercy for those who suffer. Mercy for my co-workers. Mercy for oppressors. Mercy for those who are oppressed. Mercy for the city.

Mercy.

"But you are the same God whose nature is to always have mercy"

I say it. Even though I don't necessarily feel it. Even though I can't see the mercy today. Even though it doesn't seem like mercy to me. My heart cries for mercy. And I believe that cry will be answered and is answered – even if I don't understand it or see it.

I suppose that's part of the beauty of the body of Christ. Part of the beauty of liturgy. Part of the beauty of being a part of something much bigger than myself. I don't have to depend only on my perspective. I can choose to speak words that don't seem true...but I believe that they are. I can lean on the strength and faith of my brothers and sisters, of those who have gone before, and those who walk alongside me.

Lord have Mercy.

Melissa

Summer update: I'm coming to the US this summer :) I'll be home from mid-July to the beginning of August. I'll be balancing some vacation time (woo-hoo!) with speaking and meetings. Please contact me if you'd like to arrange a meeting!

Ways you can pray this month:

● Grace and patience as the weather gets hot(er) – we all end up "at the end of our rope" much faster during these hot days!

● My dear friend Merilee is coming to visit Kolkata! She will be here May 30-June 15. I'm so excited to share my Kolkata life and my city with someone from home. Please be in prayer for our time together, for encouragement, and for space in my heart, and balance, and for Merilee as she engages with Kolkata and Sari Bari!

● For Beth, Kyle, Sheila, Brooke and I as we continue to know one another and serve alongside one another. For encouragement in the midst of lots of transitions. For Sarah as she enters fully into Sabbatical. For Upendra, Radha, Shila and Gita as they lead at Sari Bari.

● Last month I asked you to pray as I hosted a team from Indiana Wesleyan University. It was such a joy to host the team! They asked great questions, had very soft, teachable hearts, and were such an encouragement! It was refreshing and challenging to see Kolkata through their new eyes...it was exhausting, and a privilege to walk alongside them. Thanks for your prayers!