Saturday, April 30, 2011

Saturday Musings...

Kyle, Beth, Sheila and I at Easter Lunch

swimming of the edge of the hotel...

the pool at the hotel where i had a little city "get away"

Kolkata...not the way i usually see it...beautiful, huh?!

Cab ride home - the sun was setting...and i just thought it was really beautiful

i can't figure this weather out...i'm not complaining...not at all, but it has been really cool the past 10 days or so. usually by this time of year its hot (100) and very humid...but its been pleasant, in the 80's and lower 90's...and its been raining a lot (which cools things down even more - and then you get great sleep). usually by now we're all cranky, and hot and sweaty...and irritable - but this weather...well, its a welcome reprieve.

in other news...I'm not great at transition. its something i continue to wrestle with - trying to figure out how to be more open handed...how to be more flexible. this "growing point" has come up multiple times recently. so last week, while i was on my "retreat" i was thinking about it...journaling. here's my conclusion. there's nothing i can do about it. i mean, i can be aware. but that's about it. and then i find myself in this beautiful space where all i can do is invite the Lord into my brokenness and ask Him to be at work in me.

and that's really quite beautiful.

so...in another season of change (most of the time i think that the only constant here is change) - with one roommate moving out, another moving in...and Brooke joining our community (not to mention the short term team of 5 that is coming for the month of may...or the 2 interns...) i'm asking the Lord to hold my heart...and help me to do this better. its all i've got to go on...i know i can't do it better on my own. and this place of dependence, well, its uncomfortable, of course - but also a great place to be.

i'm asking for space in my heart to welcome these transitions...not to resist them, or cling to what has been normal.

its hard. it goes against my nature - but even that is beautiful...the fact that i can be something better than what i naturally am...absolutely beautiful.

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