Today, or at least right now - i am sad. sad to be leaving. sad for all the "lasts" that are inevitable. sad for all the changes that are knocking more and more insistently on the door of my heart.
By tuesday my flat will be bursting at the seems with people - and this is exciting. Merilee arrives on Sunday night. Stephanie and her mom arrives on Tuesday. Today i opened a new box of milk. i've been buying small bags of milk so i don't waste it...but today i confidently opened the large container of milk - knowing that reinforcements were arriving to help me finish it before it spoils.
This is my last weekend in town with Katie and Ollie. mostly i'm not thinking about this reality. Over this year Katie and Ollie have inched themselves into a very special place in my heart...the only 2 people who have been through this whole experience with me. I am thankful for them, and can't imagine returning to the city and them being gone. The good news is i'm planning a stopover in London on my way back to the states...that was the cause of considerable happiness last night!
I will work on until Wednesday (another day that i'm trying not to think about too much!). and then on Thursday i'm off to Nepal.
For the longer term future, i've submitted my staff application with Word Made Flesh - and hope to return to Kolkata in the not too distant future. I am thrilled about this choice. I feel like i'll be working in my area of passion - as well as have the opportunity to use my gifts/strengths/talents fully. This excitement is buried under a think layer of sadness right now though...This transition is hard for me. Sad. While i have this deep joy with my plans for joining the community in Kolkata that seems very far away- and for now i just feel the ache of leaving this community.
I feel emotional. I feel vulnerable. I feel like this next week is going to be really hard...and full of tears. I covet your prayers for me...and for my community here during this time of change.
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3 comments:
lem - love getting your updates and hearing your heart. i'm recovering from wrist surgery .... doing ok as a lefty! love you!
Change is always tough and there is just no good way around it.
But change can be exciting too
Mourn your losses, if you must. But look forward to the new things that the Holy Spirit will do as you continue to make yourself open to His will.
Update us from Nepal and London if you can.
you're in my thoughts. goodbyes basically suck...fuzzy shrapnel, thats all i have to say about that. we're all just one big construction paper mosiac. look foward to you sitting in my living room soonly. much love.
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