Fighting

I feel like i've been fighting with people for the past 2 weeks...and i'm really tired of it. Its just this whole process of moving...and all the details that come along with getting set up in my new flat. I spent a week (and countless trips to the little shop) fighting with the man who made my screens - trying to get them made the right size (which doesn't seem like it would be that difficult since the guy came and measured my windows and custom made them...but it was). I've spent the past 2 weeks tracking down, calling, questioning and prodding the internet company - who gladly took my money and didn't think to mention that they didn't actually have service provided in my area and that i would have to wait while they run more wire into my neighborhood (and the guy also took a vacation...). Then there's the matter of getting back my deposit back for my flat (which really is a big deal...cause its A LOT of money) - which finally happened. I still need to do some organizing - and there's the matter of buying and installing curtain rods...but i am really tired of this.

I'm tired cause i feel like i've been mean a lot the past two weeks. I'm tired cause this isn't America - and things don't just happen when they're supposed to. I'm tired cause i've been "stalking" these merchants trying to get them to do what they said they would do. I'm tired cause the internet guy told me he'd call me back in a half hour four different times and never did. And i'm not really the type that loves conflict. And then even when i finally get what i've been wanting and working so hard to get - i'm not excited...i'm just thankful to be done with that battle.

Monday night (after finally getting my housing deposit back) it all came to the surface - i felt horrible...and i realized how much this process has been wearing on me. as i reflected on the past week i noticed that i hadn't been peaceful or patient, and i didn't feel very kind or gentle (you know...the fruit of the spirit and all). So tuesday morning i asked my co-workers if my behavior had been inappropriate at all (cause with my cultural filter it seems like i've been high-maintenance, a nuisance, rude, and a bit of a princess) - but they assured me that my behavior and conversations have all been totally acceptable, and even necessary - that if i wanted these things to happen i needed to behave the way i had been. They also promised to let me know if i become inappropriate or rude at any point...which i'm very thankful for.

i'm still tired of this shifting process - but the end seems to be in sight. I'll be thankful when its finally over. yesterday my water filter was installed. today i'm going to go start the process of getting those curtain rods. yesterday the internet company finally ran wire...theoretically i should have internet working at home in the next day or two...but i'm not gonna count my chickens until they hatch.

in the midst of all this - i realized that i have an absolutely AMAZING view out my living room window. I sat down yesterday in a chair that i hadn't sat in since i put it where it was - and i was facing my window...and there were palm trees, a blue sky, and a few puffy white clouds...and my heart was thankful!