tired

i am tired.
i can feel myself making the bad decisions that i make when i start to feel tired (emotionally and physically) - like avoiding the things i know i need to do, so the feeling of being overwhelmed just grows. like staying up too late.
i've come a long way though - i recognize this pattern in myself much quicker than i used to, which theoretically gives me the chance to "fix" it sooner.

last week i did a "home-stay" with the principal of the language school. it was wonderful. i enjoyed the time with her and her family - getting to know them, having some great conversation. it was great...but it was "out of my routine" and it was uncomfortable in ways, (as is normal when 2 cultures mix) while i didn't "do" a lot last weekend, i didn't get to do my normal things (the things that restore my soul and my emotional balance). that combined with an abnormally busy (with great things) week, and a spike in the temperature (which just leaves me drained...its 100) has left me tired.

i've been studying for 2 months now, and my brain is tired. my brain feels saturated. i feel like i've crossed some invisible bangla speaking line this week and i'm able to express myself better (to talk about how i feel, to relay events that have just happened to me etc) - but still, i'm tired. i don't want to study. (and since i'm being honest here...i haven't much this week).

on friday i leave for Nepal. Sheila and i are going for a week. we need to go for visa reasons, and it corresponds with a break in the classes at the school. after tomorrow i have ELEVEN DAYS!!!!! before my next bangla class. i'm thankful. i'm gonna let the bangla i know simmer in my brain (ya know, kinda like chili is better the second day than the first?), i'm gonna look at mountains. this break couldn't come at a better time.