Ahhhhhh

My week of training/retreat was far more than i expected...and was exactly what i needed in so many ways. i'll prolly share in more detail later - some of the things that God was up to in my heart - but in summary i would say this time was like coming up from underwater when you've held your breath as long as you possibly can - and taking a long deep breath.

It was a joy to spend time with the aftercare department, and I loved getting to know the staff from other offices in this region. it was fun to play in the ocean, float in the pool, to play games, to talk and just be together. It was also good to talk with some of the interns from other offices - to know about their lives, to learn from them, and to be able to "process" some of my experiences with them. I value their perspective, experiences...and the freedom to talk with people who understand my life more than most. It was also really good to be reminded that i am a part of something much bigger than the one office i work in. the relational time - and connection with other offices and with HQ was so timely, and encouraging to me. (the meetings were really good/valuable too!).

We had 1 1/2 hrs of stillness/reflection time everyday. the beauty and solitude of the beach (where i chose to have my time) was amazing - and so different from my normal surroundings. The time to journal and think, to be, to reflect, to sit with the Lord. To be still, to be fully honest, To feel, to pray, to be in the word, to learn, to repent - there's no way to put a value on this time. i feel like a different person than the girl who left a week ago.

I feel like the other vacations i've taken (to bangladesh and to the beach with the gang) - were really good, and enjoyable time, but weren't times where i was changed...so i came back exactly the same, to my situation that is exactly the same...i am so thankful that i was given space and time and permission to be in a place emotionally where i could allow the Lord to work in me. I felt like my heart was able to soften.

I feel full. I feel like i have new eyes. and i have new hope. I have new plans for taking care of myself here. I have a new softness in my heart for new relationships. I feel like i'm on my way to a better way of living here. i am loved, taken care of, and thankful.

ahhhh - a deep breath.