4 months

yesterday i realized that i've been home for 4 months. to the day. i was in India for 4 months...and now i've been home for the same amount of time that i was away. crazy, cause in so many ways i still feel like i'm reeling...and trying to figure out where to stand after all i saw and experienced in k-town.

its interesting, once while i was in kolkata my friend (and teammate) Karli and i were talking about what was "next" for us in life. and karli said that its too hard to project...that just as much as she'd changed in 4 months in Kolkata, she would be that much more different after 4 months of being back home. i hadn't thought of that, and i thought it was a good thought...but didn't really think about that too much after that.

i thought about it yesterday though...cause i see how true it is. i see that i'm in this process of changing just as much now as i was in kolkata.

the last week was really good - and really hard. i had some good/hard conversations with some friends...and some good time before the Lord, and processing...and in some ways i feel like there's been this shift in my spirit...and i'm finally home.

i still don't have lots of answers. i still don't know what's next. but my spirit is free to be here (in the midst of the hardness and questions) in a way that it wasn't before. and i'm thankful.

i've said before that "i'm committed to the slowness of this process." but i don't think i knew what i was saying. but slow it is...and whether i like it or not...this process of responding to what the Lord is doing in me is going to take time.